The truth hurts..

Seems like ' the truth hurts' this phrase is really true. However, I always believed that some truths are sweet and happy ones.

However, after talking to one of my friend, someone who actually supported me and really see me as his friend.. I found out the truth. It was heart breaking. After so long, why is it that it all seems like its nothing? All along I didn't want to think that I'm nothing to someone but he just showed me yesterday. But, if it's like this, why don't you just admit it yourself? I guess it's because the main reason is just you had a change of heart and you're guilty of it. 

Probably you still like her when you're with me. All the messaging caused you to like her again. Like what I've said. I told you I didn't like it and I have a bad feeling about this. About you constantly texting her. You didn't think of me, care about my feelings when you're texting her. As for another, I knew from someone that she's scared that she's the cause of it as she's the one who text you. At first, I thought so too. Now, I think the whole problem lies between you and her.  Even your friend didn't know why you treat me like this. 

Even so, why lie to me? Why lie that it's relative dinner when you're going for a movie with her? Are you thinking that if you can't get her, you'll get back with me? Are you thinking that you don't want to destroy my good image and impression of you? After I knew this, I was horrified. Really horrified. For a short period. Less then a week, you can start again? So, you mean I meant nothing to you at all? These 1 year plus meant nothing? How serious were you about me? It's funny when I guessed everything correctly but you don't want to admit it. Why? Why don't you want to admit it?

Although my head told my heart,' forget about it. He will end up using you and hurting you again. He doesn't even know what he wants. He isn't as great as what you think he is. He wasn't the so called 'good and perfect' one after all. It'll be a trap and it won't last long at all.'

My heart actually replied,' maybe it's just because of other problems. No harm trying again right? It's just one last time and if it doesn't work out, I'll give up. Of course, I hope it's true and I'm not being used as a sacrificial product for her.'

Silly me? After knowing so much, my soft hearted heart still feels this way.  However, like I said. Everything comes after O's. I cannot risked it again and get my exams affected because of these. At least, now he knows how I feel since she's somehow avoiding him by MIA. Worse than me because he still replies with one word sometimes. I guess it's because all along she just treated you as a friend and nothing else. Because she have someone in her heart and will never like someone like you. It's just not her type. That person I know is so much different from you. It's also a stupid idea to make such a quick move after less than a month of your last. It really is.

Even if we were to be back, I won't give so much in it because I don't have the confidence anymore that it'll last. Even if we are back together, I wouldn't trust everything so much anymore. Even if we're back together, i won't let anyone know on my side maybe just my bestfriend who is like my sister. Even if we're together and something happen, as long as I felt that you're no longer worthy and your problems are hurting me again yet you've done nothing to at least try, I'll be the one this time. Not to take revenge but like what you said, ' if it really doesn't work out, no point'. This time, I won't shed a single tear for you anymore. It'll be a slate clean break. Even if it's friends, I won't find you unless you find me. 

At least during the holidays before the start of my tertiary education, I'll be on a short get away to Taiwan. I'm sure to enjoy and relax myself there. Can't wait for it. I guess at that time, with no pressures of studies, even a break and stuff is easier. At that point in time, when you realize you lost someone so close and caring about you, I'm very sure that you'll regret it for life. Just like what your sister had wrote on her blog. It's true. But it should be directed to you, not me. Looking towards to my holidays an tertiary education. Guess boys are still immature to be in a relationship at this age even if they seem reliable and mature. Seriously.