If you think that I am changing to be like one of them, fine.
Treat me for as bad as you want.
Don't think that I cannot ignore you easily.
It's a easy job for me.
Not like as if I didn't do it before.
It's also not the first the time I experienced this.
If you still think this way, don't contradict it by apologizing to me.
And, mind you.
You are also at fault.
Don't you dare to push all the blame to me.
It irritates me more. 
Eventually, it will only lead to me feeling more disgusted & irritated.
FYI, you are the one who started this. 
Remember that.

I've got nothing else to say.

All I want to say is that we didn't mean it yet you insulted me.

Fine. Now I've really got nothing to say.

Last time, I took in all your jokes & words and treat you really as a friend.

You said I have never told you any secrets.

Your conversation with me yesterday is disastrous. 

You are pointing finger at me directly & nobody else.

You only think of yourself.

I told you to give me time to cool down as I don't want to lose this friendship.

Yet? You just vent your anger on me once again.

You said that I am like one of them.

Alright then. 

I will leave you alone, don't regret it.

It's your choice.

Don't say that I am heartless or whatever coz, guess what?

You are the one who insisted and took the first step to this situation.

Yayy!!

Tuition today as usual at 3.
Did Bearings and Trigo.
Ended at 5.
Went to buy bbt & chat with ZT.
Reached home only at 6.15
Mum called me for like 3-4 times:/
haha, sorry><

Yayy!
Mum says that she's helping me to change my phone plan soon:D
Hope that it is real soon!!
So that I need not keep track of the numbers of messages I've sent for the month :)
Exicited :D

Well, feeling quite disastrous now.
Today, Rained heavily at 7 plus. 
Reached school wet! Mostly my shoes-.- Eww.. feel so disgusting. 
It totally last for one whole day!
Lit quote quiz postponed. 
P.E went AVA room for the dance again-.-
Recess was alright.
Thank you Liyana for listening to my problems that's troubling me:)
Back to class, Geography next.
Lesson was alright. Understand better now.
SS was fun? 
Changed seat with Ching Kang. LOL.
Helped Jobie with her stuffs.
Ate lunch with Shadame, Rachel & Chang yen.
Went back at 2.30:)

I'm not sure if I did the correct thing.. but at least that's what I felt is best for now..
I'm always thinking about stupid stuffs and that caused me to feel more and more heavy...
I do not want this but maybe, just maybe that for now. 
I really feel very depressed about all this.
I feel like I couldn't take it anymore.
Maybe this is the only way that it could help me a little while the rest is up to time to help...
I really feel that if what you said is true, please don't do things that let me think that it conflicts what you say.
I am trying real hard to forget you. I really am.
But provided you do what you are and don't do what you are not supposed to.
Staying in this way really hurts me deeply. It really does.
Whatever you say really leaves me in great pain sometimes.
I just feel like you say what you want without thinking that it would hurt me deeply, indeed very deep inside.
I don't expect you to be like what I hope to but, at least.. Don't let me think what you don't want me to.
Your actions tells me something while your words conflicts with it. 
I know I might have a really big chance of thinking too much, overly much.
Maybe in the first place this is not possible at all. 
Maybe I shouldn't have placed such heavy hopes on it.
I couldn't help it as it comes naturally. 
I really couldn't.
But all this might just be a nice dream i'm having? 
I should wake up now huh? This dream is really too perfect to be true I guess.
As for your friends, I would ignore what they have said previously.
I know that they are saying about you but I've chose to act ignorant about it.
If you really felt the way they say, I think that you will tell me personally just like what you said.
I really will stop thinking about this and concentrate with my studies first.
I really will.

150810 Sunday.

Went out to Tampines with family. Ate korean bbq set and another individual soup:)
Haha, mine cost the most. $9.50 for just lunch:x hahahar.
Went shopping. Bought two new single mattress cover:) Nice!
Mum went to change battery of her watch. 
While changing, I was looking at watches hoping to find one so I can buy. hahah. 
Mummy later ask me try on her watch. And, she said that she give me:) haha. Thank you mummy:D
Went down for walk not long later with fluffy & dino near the school.
So funny!! Went home, bathed for 2 pups. 
Did literature homework, packed bag, watched tv. 
off to bed at 12.30:)


160810 Monday
Woke up at 6.09 due to message vibration despite setting my alarm at 6.20. hahar. 
Went out of house at 6.50? 
Reached school, went brother class to put his fencing equipments.
Sat down, chit chatting with Liyana, Jobie & Julisa until 7.15.
Went back to my own seat. 
Back to class. Maths, changed place and sat with liyana:D:D
English, got back summary test. failed-.- 8/20
LOL, did corrections and was pretty funny.
Recess, super hungry & hyper. ahaha 
Was having stomach ache so went to eat noodle at 11..
Back to class. 
geography lesson was alright.
Poa lesson next:)
Got back common test, 30.5/40
Made the most stupiest mistake.
Didn't write narratives for general journal
lost 4.5 marks there:/ 
Oh well. ahahah.
Got to go revise for physics test tmrw or I'll flung it:)

I miss you, I really do.
How I wish that we are like others, free & easy.
And, of course. Closest to each other. 
I really hope for that.
Imy :(
I really like you alot.
This is what I feel for you. 
What I've not been telling you all this while.
Things that I wouldn't dare to.
And.. I hope that we could be more closer.
I really do

Changed seating arrangement today in the early morning:(
I don't like where i'm sitting now.
All my friends are so far awayD:
Lit lesson was okay.
P.E went AVA room for aces day dance:/
Recess went to find teacher to arrange for lit test.
Geography, got back common test.
I failed, 10/25 T.T
Did correction for it.
SS went down to stuff room to take lit test.
Was quite alright i guess.. Hope this time round I could pass..
Stayed in school till 2.30 and went back home:D




I am really upset.
I am trying really hard to forget you and get on with my life.
Not to get you out of my life but stay as a friend. 
You made me feel so happy at times. 
I really find it hard to give up.
But there's nothing else that I could do..
I really miss you alot. 
You seemed to be so far away from me now.
What should I do?
I think that maybe, I should just get on with my studies till the end of year.
Maybe, I should just get good results and, leave all of this to that time. 
After my exams maybe. 
):

Well, today was tiring..
Yawning in almost every lesson!
MT, cher tell me say want me take test for the previous one I had missed>.<
Oh well.. at least she can set a date with me-.-
Physics, nothing much.. as usual, but new topic today:/
Chem, no test! :) Went computer lab fill up notes>.<
Recess.. wanted to find her but.. oh well, since you are going to most probably turn & walk away sliently, forget it lor. Anyway, is you all never set properly non of my business.
Maths, did completing the square & learned General solution. Finally! I know how to do completing the square. & General solution is so much easier:D
Lit. just copying down my notes.
Not really paying attention. Might have listened for a while and suddenly just drifted away. hahah. oh well.. Not happy in her class anyway-.-
Lunch break stayed in class.
English only go through summary.
well, skipped cca duty at the last min-.- told myself i gotta go but.. haiz. no one accompany me>.<
Py, you better go next time arhh. Ask me change but always i can go, you cannot ):
Went out for cheese fries instead. LOL. What's wong with me nowadays? Keep on eating cheese fries.. haha.  reach school at about 4.05? Walked Hazdo to bus-stop:D went home after that!

Damn pissed with her-.-
Don't know how to be specific? Everytime just keep quiet.
How are we suppose to know what you mean? If it's this way, don't bother lar.
Attending your lessons are like wth nowadays. In the first place, everybody said something but I didn't care but now? It seem to me like yahh. she's like this. What exactly is wrong? Can't you all just tell me? Even someone didn't tell me what the hell is going on. So, keeping me in the dark and later? Blame for nothing. I just can't take it anymore. Seriously. I feel extremely stress! Great. Now I might have a long & difficult time with her-.-

Every now and then, my mood is getting worst. Today daydream in class the one whole day. Guess I would just go on with my plans for now. Sorry for shooting you and your cake Jobie:D I'm just trying to make myself happy again.. Well.. at least just for today..:D Git to go for a walk with the dogs.
Bye

^^

haha, woke up at around 2 plus><
Tired cause I only slept at around 5.30am yesterday due to dogs trouble..
Well, went out to parkway parade at 4 plus in the afternoon with parents & brother.
Walk around & brought hot n spicy seaweed again!
Dad drove us to Ehub for movie.
Met brother's friend to watch salt.
The movie was superb:D
Enjoyed myself. Movie ended at 8 plus.
Went central with brother, slacked & walked around aimlessly.
haha. Back home 7 was stuck outside w/o keys:/
Sat outside for mum & dad to come back.
Went back in and start using com:D
Chatting with people, thanks for entertaining me.
haha, especially brendan!
Relax, your are not bored:D